


Cycle renew

by Tashilover



Category: Avatar the Last Airbender - Fandom, In The Flesh, The Legend of Korra - Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Fushion, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tashilover/pseuds/Tashilover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey, did you hear the Avatar still hasn't been discovered?"</p><p> </p><p>Fusion with ATLA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They talked about it at night, in whispers between themselves. The doctors warned them against it, saying to think about what they've lost will only make the transition back into society even harder. They need to accept who they are, not what they were.

Kieren remembered hearing them. As much as he wanted to talk about it too, he mostly kept to himself, pretending to sleep as they whispered in the darkness.

"Man, I miss eating tacos. My mum used to make them once a month, for my sis and I. She would stir this big chunk of hamburger meat with onions and peppers and- gah! I remember the taste and it's _torture_."

"I miss tea. Just... tea. I miss how I would wake up in the morning and make myself a cup. I had a whole process, you know. I loved mixing the tea leaves with other ingredients, creating new tastes. It was always so satisfying when I unintentionally created something wonderful."

"I miss masturbating."

There was a sudden rounds of 'oh yes!' and 'Mhhhmmm!' and 'Oh gods, I try everyday just to see if it works.'

They had asked Kieren once, just once, what he missed the most. He thought about for a good long minute. He missed bacon. He missed the feel of a hot shower cascading down his back. He missed the way he could feel snowflakes melting on his skin.

"I miss bending," he finally said. There were a few murmurs of agreement. "I miss being able to jump down from the top of the stairs and land perfectly safe. It drove my mum nuts when I did that."

"You were an airbender?" One girl said to him in awe.

"I was."

"Holy fuck," she said. "Weren't there only like... ten of you in the whole country?"

"Fifteen. I don't know how many are now."

That prompted the others to talk about their bending and what they missed most about it. The waterbenders talked about racing down their local rivers, summer snowball fights and walks in the rain. The firebenders shared stories of perfected cooked meals, and going out into thunder storms to see if they could prompt lightening to redirect it. ("That's how I died!" One young woman giggled, pulling down her shirt to reveal the Lichtenberg figure across her collar.) The Earthbenders laughed over their failed attempts in trying to learn to metalbend and how many of them broke their fingers when first trying to punch through rock.

"Hey, did you hear the Avatar still hasn't been discovered?"

It was the biggest news controversy before Kieren died. Ever since the death of Avatar Kaiualani, people have been chomping on the bit, waiting for the next one to show his or her face. It's almost become a spectacle, the Avatar search. Too many nations have that, 'Nah-nah! We got the Avatar!' type of reaction.

Upon hearing that, Kieren rolled over in his bed, surprised. Understandably it would take time for the new Avatar to show their face, taking anywhere from ten to fifteen years for them to emerge into the world. When Kieren died, the Avatar still hadn't been found.

Twenty-four years without an Avatar? Sure, everyone heard the tale of Avatar Aang and when he disappeared for a hundred years, but that was centuries ago. Surely it wasn't going to happen again.

One girl muttered, "Maybe we ate him."

There was a round of disgusted groans, effectively ending the conversation. Kieren turned over on his side, settling into the silence and tried to go to sleep.

As he drifted off, his eyes closing to the darkness, he swore he saw something like a spirit fluttering over the cots, inspecting every single one.

 

 

 

 

 

There was pain in Rick's voice. His face tightening so much, Kieren feared his stitches were going to burst. "You were supposed to be an Air Nomad," he hissed. "You were suppose to leave this damn town and do something better!""

"Better?" Kieren echoed "Shave my head, eat tofu, and leave everything behind- how is that better?"

"Because you were _destined_ to do great things! My god, Ren... why? Just... why?"

Kieren didn't really want to become an Air Nomad. Their acolytes hounded him for _years_ , telling him they could teach him how to fully unlock his abilities. Of course that meant he would have to leave behind his family, leave behind Rick, and go to an isolated temple somewhere up north where he would spent the next couple years of his young life training endlessly in meditation.

But dear Lord, he needed to leave Roarton. Since his first day of living here it felt like invisible walls were slowly closing in around him, choking the life out of him. Going off to train with the Nomads at least guaranteed him a chance to a new life, a new environment.

When Rick died, it felt like Kieren fell into an endless hole. The need to escape was so great, he would tear his own skin off to achieve it. Going off to become an Air Nomad was not going to change that.

Rick was still waiting for an answer. He was on the verge of crying. _(Spirits, he's so beautiful-)_

"When you died..." Kieren began, swallowing wetly. "Everything went to shit."

 

 

 

 

 

Amy, beautiful, amazing Amy, used to be a Waterbender.

She talked about it as though she never lost it, recreating the stances as if she were dancing. Kieren, who never got the proper training to airbend, loved watching her move as she shifted from once stance to another, humming all the while.

"I wanted to be a healer," she said, moving her arms up above her head in an elegant pose. "But I wasn't born with that ability. A bit ironic considering..."

She pointed to her torso where the scars sat. She continued moving, shifting her weight from leg to leg as her hands swirled. "The only thing I used my bending for was to create snowmen during the summer. I didn't learn to fight."

"Why not?"

"Probably because Master Ben charged an arm and a leg to teach. What a jerk."

"Maybe you could give them to him now," Kieren said. He karate-chopped at his own arm, mimicking the noise of an axe with clucks of his tongue.

"Kieren Walker!" Amy grinned. She dropped her stance. "You just made a very dark and gory joke!"

"Aren't you proud?"

"Oh, very proud, my lovely, lovely BDFF! So glad to know there's a sense of humour under this chubby, mousse-covered face."

She reached out and pinched his cheeks, cooing as she did so. She pulled back with a giggle and settled into a new stance. Her undead limbs made her movements jerky and slow.

"Still," she muttered softly. "I do miss it a lot."

 

 

 

 

 

 

On nights like these, Simon loved to stand in the garden, a mug of tea in one hand, and watch as the snow flakes drifted down. It fascinated him endlessly as a child, always risking a cold when he would spend literally hours to watch it dance across the sky.

In New York those days were harder to come by. The winters were harsher, the winds stronger, and he nearly caught his death of cold quite a few times trying to watch the snow fall. There was a moment during late December, when the whole city was alive for Christmas, Simon managed to plop himself down at a diner near Times Square. He ordered a hot chocolate, wrapped his bitter cold hands around the giant mug and watched as the world went by. It was one of his favourite memories.

Tonight, the snow held no fascination for him. His thoughts were gripped tight by a different spiritual experience.

The phone on the other line rung twice. It picked up.

"I have found the Avatar," he whispered. "You should see him."

_He's beautiful._


	2. Chapter 2

"You've got be shitting me."

Of all the insane things Kieren has heard in his life, this one tops the fucking cake. He could barely look at Simon, he was so flabbergasted. "That's... that's insane. There's no fucking way."

Simon sucked in a breath. "Kieren-"

" _The Avatar_?" Kieren yelled at him. "You think I'm the Avatar?"

"I know you are."

He said it with such certainty, it sounded like nobody except God Himself could ever change his mind. Kieren gaped at him, his mind reeling. "This is unbelievable," he said. "Need I remind you what happens when the Avatar dies? They are immediately reincarnated into the next life! So even if I WAS the Avatar, Simon, I should not be anymore!"

There was something else, something Simon had not told him. The guilt was practically making him hunch down, slumping his shoulders and his back. Simon looked upon him with sad eyes and said, "You're under the impression I am talking about the Avatar spirit, Ravva. I am not."

Kieren took a step back. He didn't understand.

"Remember your history, Kieren," Simon said gently. "There were two spirits of equal strengths who fused with a human being during Harmonic Convergence."

" _NO_."

"The Avatar spirit that is inside you is not Ravva, but Vat-"

"Shut up," Kieren snapped. Panic was growing rapidly inside of him, stealing his breath, and he swore to _god_ , it felt like his heart was beating faster than a freight train. He even placed his hand over his chest to feel the vibration but it was still underneath his palm. "You can't... what proof do you even have?"

"The Undead Prophet-"

"Oh yeah, because he's such a reliable source."

"- said there would be signs. He or she would have been an airbender because it has been three reincarnation cycles since Unalaq. When the Avatar spoke of their Rising, he or she would describe the four elements clear and true, in the presence of others."

Kieren was thrown back into his memory, trying to remember when he had done such a thing. "What... you mean during lunch? For spirit's sake, Simon, I was exaggerating, trying to scare Gary-"

"What I felt first was _water_ ," Simon suddenly bellowed, throwing his voice loud, repeating Kieren's words. "Upon my face, seeping through the _earth._ Even through the impacted dirt, I could hear the cracks of thunder, and when I opened my eyes, I was not impeded by the darkness. It was as if there was a _fire_ in front of me, illuminating the way."

This was stupid, this was so, so stupid-

"When I finally broke through," Simon continued, lowering his voice to a gentle level. He stepped forward towards Kieren, his eyes begging him to understand. "There was silence in the _air_. I was alone. I was the only _one_."

Kieren had nothing to say.

"Nobody described their Rising like you did, Kieren. It was always _hunger_ and _dirt_ -"

"I described the hunger too."

"Not till after you spoke of the elements in their respective cycles."

"Okay, okay... s-so what? Let's say I am the Avatar, exactly what does that mean? I can't airbend, Simon! I have never been able to bend any of the other elements before I died, so what would be the point?"

"The spirit Vattu didn't want to bring peace, he wanted to bring equality."

"I..."

The day at the graveyard haunted Kieren. He didn't want to think about it, about how close he came to hurting someone, to hurting his dad. He could have killed his father that day. Even if he had only bruised his father, Kieren didn't know what he would have done. His memory of that day was as fuzzy and incomplete as his Rising. But there was something that did stand out and was quietly confirmed by Jem afterwards...

"Simon," Kieren said. "Why did you have a knife?"


	3. Chapter 3

Avatar Joan was born nearly seven hundred years ago. She had been England's last native born Avatar. Before her was Avatar William, who was born nearly a thousand years earlier. Before him, no one knew. The records of ancient Avatars may have been destroyed along with the library of Alexandria.

In the town of Roarton, a single statue of Avatar Joan stood erect on the east side of the town, just sitting right outside the limits of surrounding farmland. She was posed with one hand into the sky, as if reaching for something, and in the other hand she held a flag displaying the coat of arms of the royal family from her era.

She wasn't the most popular of Avatars. Because of her actions - or lack thereof- a great deal of people blamed her for not stopping the bubonic plague. At the time many believed the plague was cursed upon them by the spirits and demanded Avatar Joan to rage war against the Spirit World to stop it. She refused, and she was martyred for it.

Though nowadays people tried to remember her, they preferred to focus on the more popular Avatars. Like Avatar Nathaniel who fought in WW2, or Avatar Mutsumi who gave her life to stop a tidal wave from destroying Sydney.

Poor Avatar Joan. Her statue had not been clean in probably a decade. Climbing vines nearly engulfed her entire body, the coat of arms had been nearly rubbed out, and three of her fingers on her outstretched hand were gone.

Kieren settled down in front of her. The dry leaves beneath him crunched loudly.

He didn't know why he came here. It was not as if he was expecting to find answers from a statue. He just needed to be alone, to collect his thoughts. He would have gone back to the Cave, but knowing what that symbolized for him, for his family, he chose to keep his distance.

Staring up at Joan's stone face, Kieren had but one thought on his mind: Simon had planned to kill him.

To sacrifice him for 'the greater good.' Though Simon said, over and over, he couldn't go through with it, Kieren felt like someone kicked him in the head. How could Simon, someone who was so intelligent, poetic, and gentle, be willing to do something so heinous?

"If I had been anyone else," Kieren said to him, his fists shaking at his side. "If some bloke you never met before in your life been the Avatar, if _Amy_ had been the Avatar, would you have gone through with it?"

At least Simon had the decency to cast his gaze downward in guilt. "I don't know," he said quietly.

After that, Kieren couldn't be in his presence anymore.

So here he was, in front of a statue of an Avatar people didn't really care about, unsure what to do next. Should he confirm with a spiritual leader if what Simon said was true? Was Kieren really the vessel for Vattu?

If he was, _then what?_

To his right, Kieren heard the crumpling noise of someone walking through the forest, coming towards him. He quickly got to his feet, bringing up his hoodie over his head, hoping to make a quick getaway. Before he could even take a step, the person emerged.

"Holy crap!" Dean yelled out, jumping. "Jesus Christ, Kieran. What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm doing nothing. What are _you_ doing?"

"I came here to eat lunch," he said. He held up a brown paper bag to show. "My gran made me her special brownies and I rather not share them at the pub."

He flopped down in front of Avatar Joan's statue, leaning his back against the stone. With a grin, he dug into the bag, pulling out a wrapped sandwich, a banana, and a large plastic-wrapped brownie. He sniffed it, sighing in content.

Kieren sat back down. He drew his legs up to his chest, watching Dean. "I thought you were diabetic."

"That's why I said they're _special_ brownies. My gran makes them specifically for me. All the deliciousness, none of the sugar-induced coma."

He didn't bother to give the sandwich a glance before wolfing down the brownie with disgusting speed. "Mmmm..." he groaned in pleasure. "Y'know, it's a good thing you can't eat anymore, because otherwise I would feel obligated to share this with you, and fuck it if I was going to share this with you."

"How nice of you."

"Mmmm... so tell me," he said, pulling up his thermos to take a swing. "What are you doing out here? Usually no one comes here."

Kieren shrugged. "I dunno. I was hoping being around Avatar Joan would give me some spiritual enlightenment."

"Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeahh... that's right. You used to be an Airbender, right?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck, that's cool. I thought all Airbenders were naturally spiritually charged."

"I never was." That was another strike against Simon's Avatar theory. Kieren has never talked to a spirit, never had a vision, never shown any signs of having spiritual powers.

"Yeah," said Dean, finally unwrapping his sandwich. "I don't have any spiritual powers either, despite being related to _her_."

He jabbed a thumb upwards to Avatar Joan.

Kieren blinked. "Wait, you're..."

"Her descendant? Yeah, I'm like her, great-great-great-great-great-times fifty grandson. My mum has the papers to prove it. Though fat-job that's worth. Nobody in my family can bend and we're about as spiritual as a dog."

"That's..." Kieren wanted to say _incredible_ , because HOLY SHIT, Dean was a direct descendant of an Avatar? But like he said, what was the point of being connected to the Avatar if that meant you got none of their talents? "Huh."

They lulled into silence. Dean didn't seem to mind, his focus entirely on eating his lunch. Just as he finished his sandwich and started peeling his banana, Kieren suddenly asked, "What would you do... if you found out you were the Avatar?"

Dean snorted. "Pshhh. No descendant of the Avatar has ever become an Avatar."

"I'm just saying. You know, hypothetically. What if?"

Taking a huge bite of the banana, Dean leaned more comfortably against the statue, considering. "I don't know. I mean, yeah, on one hand, ultimate cosmic power. On the other... worldly responsibility. Does _anyone_ want to take on the responsibility of the world right now?"

"What if it were Vattu?"

"WHO?"

"You know," Kieran repeated, quietly. "Vattu. The other Avatar Spirit. The dark one. What would you do if you were his vessel?"

"My answer is still the same." Dean held his hands up, comparing. "Ultimate cosmic power? Worldly responsibility?"

"You don't think you'd be evil? Or seen as evil?"

"Everyone thought my great-Avatar gran here was evil too. Fuck, a lot of people still think that. To own thine self be true, and all that good shite. It doesn't matter what they think, what matters is what you think. If you don't think you're evil, then don't be evil. Avatar or not, people have a _choice_. And fuck anybody who says differently."

He shoved the rest of the banana into his mouth.

Kieren felt himself smile. He didn't get all of his questions answered, but at least now he knew what he wanted to do next. "Thanks, Dean," he said, getting to his feet. He patted the dry leaves off his trousers. "You know, maybe you did inherit something from Avatar Joan."

Dean made a face. "What's that suppose to mean? Hey, Kieren! Where you going? Ah, whatever, you weirdo."


	4. Chapter 4

"I am not the Avatar."

There was so much about Simon Kieren didn't know. As handsome and witty as Simon was, he was also a lot liked a kicked puppy, anticipating for the next blow to rain down. "Kieren," he started in a pleading voice.

Kieren held up a hand. "No, let me speak. I am not the Avatar. You were wrong. Your Prophet was wrong. And I need to hear you say that. If you can't say that, Simon, then I want you to leave. This town is already filled with religious fanatics. Rick was killed because of some stupid belief his father fed into. I will not have that in my life. Not anymore."

Bill Macy had been under the delusion Rick's body had been possessed by an evil spirit, and once that spirit had been killed, Rick's true soul would return from the other world. Though it was common knowledge nowadays that the only way a spirit could fuse with a human without killing one another was during Harmonic Convergence; which wouldn't happen again for another 9,800 years. This was confirmed by Avatar Korra herself, and yet people to this day still claimed spirits could inhabit and control human bodies.

Kieren waited for Simon's answer.

He could see Simon's internal struggle. Simon's hands were shaking, and he clasped them together, trying to stop them as his eyes darted back and forth. All Kieren wanted to do was step forward and clasp Simon's hands, to reassure Simon, but held himself back. This needed to be said and heard.

Finally, Simon whispered out, "I am not a bender."

"Alright..." Kieren said, unsure where this was going.

"I've always thought I was missing out on something, by not being a bender. After all, it was a gift given to humans by the Giant Lionturtles. But other benders have reassured me they're not spiritual because of their bending, that it doesn't grant them better access to spiritual understanding. So I studied. The history of the Avatar, the spirit world, everything I could get my hands on. One of the reasons why I went to America was to go the spirit portal Avatar Korra opened. I never made it though."

"Simon, what are you trying to say?"

"I think... I think one of the reasons why I am drawn to the Avatar... to the spirits is because I am constantly searching for something to believe in, to fight for. To die for."

Kieren pointed a finger at him. "Don't you dare-!"

"Whether or not you're the Avatar is irrelevant, Kieran. I know where I stand."

"What the _fuck_ does that mean?" Kieren bit out, grabbing his hair in frustration. "I don't want anyone dying for me or killing for me!"

Simon bit his lip, hesitating. Then he said, "I told the Undead Prophet you were the Avatar."

"Not your name specifically," he quickly added on. "I only told him I found the Avatar. But he now knows- he _believes_ the Avatar is here in Roarton, and there's a very good chance he will send more disciples out here to find him."

A horrible sinking feeling pooled in the back of Kieren's neck, near his hole. It felt like a weight was pulling his head down, and if he turned the wrong way, he would snap his own neck. "I don't...what's going to happen when they get here? What's going to happen to you?"

"I don't know," Simon admitted. "I never believed he would initiate violence against a fellow undead individual, then he ordered me to kill the Avatar. I have no idea what he's capable of and I don't know what he'll do if he finds me."

"Shit! You need to run! Go, while you still can!"

"He'll find me no matter what. The Prophet is more than just an undead person, Kieran. It's one of the reasons why we follow him, why we believe his prophecy of the Avatar so legit. He, like the Avatar, has fused with a powerful spirit."


End file.
